Tuesday, November 16, 2010

lettuce


"you wouldn't know good lettuce if it bit you in the ass. "

"holy shit! lettuce bites? wait, wasn't that a Def Leppard song? "

"no, that was Love Bites. "

"Ohhh... so love bit lettuce, and now lettuce is all vengeful & shit, and needs to bite other stuff. "


Sunday, November 14, 2010

FREE CASH INCOME

MAKE MONEY FREE
EARN CASH, NO WORK
INVESTMENT FREE INCOME

The fact that you are reading this means that you probably got sucked in by the keywords at the top. I typed "free cash income", and now I'm going to get a lot of hits. Take a serious look at it, though, "free cash"?! Are you kidding? By definition, cash has value. It can not and will not ever be free. Don't feel bad, though, I'm not calling you dumb. Literally millions of people click on links and ads that make claims just as ludicrous. Why? Because it's enticing. How many of us are happy with our "real" jobs? Wouldn't it be much nicer to just sit at home in your ginch with a pot of coffee and make money? Sure it would. I have come to the conclusion, however, that no one is going to pay me to model my underwear at home. What they ARE going to pay me for is to either give them money, or work for them. Look how many "online business kits" cost "29.95". Wait a minute: 30 bucks? You're telling me that you've found a way to make vast amounts of money, and now you want me and a hundred thousand other people to give you 30 bucks so you'll share this knowledge? Let me see, if a hundred thousand and one people each give you 30 bucks, that amounts to... (tap tap tap)... a shitload.95. Do the math yourself if you care. OF COURSE THEY ARE MAKING TONS OF MONEY.Didn't you just give them $30 more? For what? Everywhere else in society, it works like this: money traded for service. Not money traded for vague hope.

Please quit clicking on those links. Please quit giving your money away to people who are cleverer than you. You're only egging them on. If you want some ideas on how to live the dream and make money from home, I can give you a few, but you won't like them. I know this, because they're "hard work" and they usually require some skills that you (most of us) haven't put in the time to learn. Look at it this way: there are only two reasons people will give you money. For you to give them something in return, or for you to do something that they need done. It's never free, ever. Even winning the lottery costs money. Jobs cost time.

But okay. I'll give you a FREE MONEY MAKING TIP, since you've read this far even after (hopefully) realizing that this page is not what you were looking for. Zazzle. You don't have to pay them $30, and you don't have to post links or send out spam mail to your FB friends. What you DO have to do is think up t-shirt ideas that they can sell. Zazzle will then pay you for your ideas in the form of a cut on each t-shirt sold. I have made almost $50 in the last year from them. Pitiful, right? Consider this. I've only put up 3 t-shirt ideas, which took a collective 15 minutes while drunk. Most of that time was spent trying to navigate the interwebz while drunk. I have never spent any time advertising said t-shirts, not even here. Well, okay, maybe here.
Maybe if I ever get around to it, I'll grow my webstore into a massive empire, and I'll rule the world, and if people give me $30, I'll tell them how I did it. :P